James Spies--name of doc who removed Condi's fibroids (or whatever he did with them)

At least, she had it done at Georgetown University Hospital.

Ah, the safety of the blog. You can vent, rage, and concoct the most refreshing ways to hurt the liars and the cheats without having to deal with the mess of actually disposing of their bloody remains. At least, you could until the Patriot Act. Sigh. However, I'll risk possible arrest and imprisonment:

One effective way to deal with a liar-liar is tie him up by the thumbs, hang him from the ceiling in front of the TV (first confirm you have a concrete deck ceiling or locate the center of the overhanging beam, which may mean moving the TV set to that spot) with Yanni's 2005 tour set to constant replay. Next, begin delivering swift but moderate kicks to his family jewels, keeping to about 8-10 every six minutes for three hours. (Moderate kicks will over time produce the same results as hard ones but require less physical strain. Recommended frequency and timing are purely arbitrary.)

Once treatment is complete, the subject will need to be...debriefed. Place a flat surface below him, gently untie thumbs and let him fall onto the surface. (More advanced subjects may be allowed to fall ungraciously to the floor. Hardwood or concrete floors a plus.) Secure him in that position--method left at the discretion of the lady--for him to continue viewing the Yanni tour.

IMPORTANT NOTES

- DO NOT STOP THE YANNI TOUR IMMEDIATELY AFTER THUMB-UNTYING. Ending it in this abrupt way may cause seizure or stroke. Give him a beer spiked with two crushed sleeping pills (store brand OK) and allow him to fall asleep before stopping the DVD/tape. The beer will assure him that you are simply exacting fiery judgment on him and/or strengthening his character, and you mean him no harm.

- If your liar-liar is of above-average stature or strength, it may be necessary to crush one or two sleep pills in his beer in order to begin treatment. Or scare him with threats of cutting of his jewels entirely.

This treatment, though not yet tested, is 104% effective.

I love sweet peas. Best greens on earth this month.

I've decided that I'm not getting married anytime soon. I'm not dating either. Most men are dogs--useless, mindless dogs that cannot be trusted not to roll around in their own poop. And it seems I always attract useless, mindless dogs with a propensity for grave idiocy. For instance, they always expect me to believe that despite the fact that I caught them in a liar-liar lie three minutes ago, they're not lying right now. The best policy, therefore, is to steer clear of all men and place my distractions some place else. Like fly fishing. Or basket-weaving.