Mind Flexing

THA KID informed me, with a disproportionate amount of perplexity, that my ears are tiny.

Decided to drop my IQ a few dozen points today. Watching MTV. My observations/questions before I forget how to spell:

• Snoop should never, and I mean NEVER, wear a wife beater. It just isn't fair to the consumer.
• Can someone tell me why Nickelback's Photograph is on constant replay?
• Pharrell, as dripping with talent as he is, should NOT rap. Or sing. Or show his legs in those shorts, which is a segue into my next observation:
• Fact: There exist very few black men who can get away with their calves on display.
  
• We all know that the more significant half of the Benifer I is a cutie--though I still don't know why her itty-bitty butt's so deserving of media attention--but must she sing? Or try to dance? I'm totally all for lip-synching in her case. And for Britney Spears, Ashley Simpson, and every other "pop icon" we have to endure, but I digress. You gotta give it to JLo, though--'80's retro looks fabulous on her.
  
• I do love that N.E.R.D. song/video, She Wants to Move, ancient as it is. Hmm, there was a time I moved like that girl in the video...OMG, am I that old already?!
  
• Fact: Mos Def and Common are two of the coolest cats in hip-hop.
• Fact: There's less activity in your brain while you're watching TV than while you sleep. Even less when you watch MTV.
• Whoever the HELL let that girl do We Rockin' Stilettos??? Oh, right, there's the one about rollin' on dubs or some ish--no, not talking about Tippin' on 44's, that was considerably classier than the one I'm trying to repress. And there's the fact that someone did give The Pussycat Dolls a record deal--all eighteen of them. My question is this: When they split their net gains after paying off manager, agent, accessories, hairdresser, does the lead singer's cut come to $28.50 or $26.50?
  
• If all we're gonna see is n**gas hollering about they grills and girls shaking unmentionables in an effort to be noticed for 3:38 minutes before the tracks slide out of their hair, what say you we consolidate all videos into one ten-minute monthly extravaganza of cultural debasement and call it a day? In my proposed utopia, a mandatory triennial limit of four songs would be imposed on all "artists."
• What fool gave Jamie Foxx a mic? This Oscar buzz is ridamndiculous. (And let's face it; he's manageable as an actor, but we all know that it was a simple matter of timing--LOTR's have been the only Oscar-worthy movies since maybe 2000, and the last one should have ended 45 minutes before it did--and quota--same with Halle Berry. Not hatin'. Just stating facts.) Mr. Foxx's airtime would be better appropriated by better but less known talents like Little Brother.
• Fact: Lil' Weezie is a tall umpalumpa and needs a bath.
  

This is partly why I tend to stick with Law & Order and such.

Considering again what kind of tattoo I'm gonna get. Just saw a Pharrell video and I think I know what I want now. Took long enough. Been about five years since I decided I'd get one. Thing is, I've got the attention span of a gnat, as one of my friends once put it, and seeing I get bored easily, I don't wanna go get something then have to laser it off in two weeks. Well, if I ever go through with it, I'll describe it. But first, I've got to lose another 10 lbs. Well, maybe five for now, then I'll get my tattoo as a reward. Great motivation, right? But let's hope for now that I still want that tattoo design.

Alrighty, gotta get back to editing the B school essays he wants me to do. Feeling a little like a dumbass, seeing that I need to retake the GMAT--was a little distracted when I took it last--and get my ass to B school. I need the break. Maybe I'll figure out what I wanna do when I get there.

Ciao.